I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
