yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
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I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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