She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
