Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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