Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
