You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
