you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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