im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
