he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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