No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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