there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
