no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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