I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
