matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
