so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
