I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Say something about gay babies.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
