I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
