we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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