your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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