I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
