I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
