better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
