She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
