Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
