There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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