lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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