ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
