So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
