Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
