kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
