You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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