I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
