soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
