so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
