I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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