You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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