i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He did a backflip because drugs
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
