1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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