I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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