She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
