sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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