don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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