when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
