I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
