I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We're facebook friends in real life
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
