I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
