toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
