I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
