omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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