RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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