I want you more than these girls want KFC
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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