my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
handjob tips. give me some.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize