I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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