toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
