he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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