I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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